There's an episode of Sex in the City where Carrie finds out that the divorced Charlotte still wears her engagement ring around her apartment. Carrie is shocked at this, and many viewers including myself at the time are as well. Who would want to wear a ring from a failed marriage?
But that's the problem with thinking. Failed is a harsh word to pair with marriage. Many marriages just don't work out but there are clearly very good memories for most marriages. An engagement ring is more than just a ring or a symbol of a marriage. A ring can be every happy moment just sitting on your hand. A ring can be a comfort on a drive home after a long day while feeling lonely. A ring can be a reminder to think of someone special.
Lately I've been missing wearing a ring. My hand feels naked. I look down and feel sad. My rings are safely in my jewelry box, I could at any time go put them back on but I feel like that would slow or reverse the healing and moving on process. My pinky finger moves to adjust rings that are no longer there. The indent my rings created on my finger are still there, faded but not quite gone.
I get it now. Charlotte needed the quiet reassurance once and awhile. Of course she ended up selling her ring and turning it into a down payment on Carrie's apartment but I wrote about that idea before.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
dream
The other night I had a seriously weird dream.
I was living in Salem, not Oregon but the Days of our Lives fictional city, and I went on a camping trip. Being in the world of DOOL isn't strange but camping sure as fuck is for me. Anyway while camping I let the shaving maintenance slide and developed noticeable growth. I prefer my legs to be smooth and rarely let 2 days go by without shaving so thinking of my legs super hairy is pretty gross to me.
Eventually the hair grows so much it starts sprouting branches and leaves. Seeing my legs becoming like tree trunks upsets me so I started breaking off the branches. The branches were part of me though, so it hurts when I'm breaking the branches off. Of course I kept breaking the branches off and my legs hurt and were bleeding. My dream self didn't know what else to do.
I have no idea what any of this means other than I'm probably vain. But to be fair no one wants trees growing off their legs.
I was living in Salem, not Oregon but the Days of our Lives fictional city, and I went on a camping trip. Being in the world of DOOL isn't strange but camping sure as fuck is for me. Anyway while camping I let the shaving maintenance slide and developed noticeable growth. I prefer my legs to be smooth and rarely let 2 days go by without shaving so thinking of my legs super hairy is pretty gross to me.
Eventually the hair grows so much it starts sprouting branches and leaves. Seeing my legs becoming like tree trunks upsets me so I started breaking off the branches. The branches were part of me though, so it hurts when I'm breaking the branches off. Of course I kept breaking the branches off and my legs hurt and were bleeding. My dream self didn't know what else to do.
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