look away

There's an episode of Sex in the City where Carrie finds out that the divorced Charlotte still wears her engagement ring around her apartment. Carrie is shocked at this, and many viewers including myself at the time are as well. Who would want to wear a ring from a failed marriage?

But that's the problem with thinking. Failed is a harsh word to pair with marriage. Many marriages just don't work out but there are clearly very good memories for most marriages. An engagement ring is more than just a ring or a symbol of a marriage. A ring can be every happy moment just sitting on your hand. A ring can be a comfort on a drive home after a long day while feeling lonely. A ring can be a reminder to think of someone special.

Lately I've been missing wearing a ring. My hand feels naked. I look down and feel sad. My rings are safely in my jewelry box, I could at any time go put them back on but I feel like that would slow or reverse the healing and moving on process. My pinky finger moves to adjust rings that are no longer there. The indent my rings created on my finger are still there, faded but not quite gone.

I get it now. Charlotte needed the quiet reassurance once and awhile. Of course she ended up selling her ring and turning it into a down payment on Carrie's apartment but I wrote about that idea before.

dream

The other night I had a seriously weird dream.

I was living in Salem, not Oregon but the Days of our Lives fictional city, and I went on a camping trip. Being in the world of DOOL isn't strange but camping sure as fuck is for me. Anyway while camping I let the shaving maintenance slide and developed noticeable growth. I prefer my legs to be smooth and rarely let 2 days go by without shaving so thinking of my legs super hairy is pretty gross to me.

Eventually the hair grows so much it starts sprouting branches and leaves. Seeing my legs becoming like tree trunks upsets me so I started breaking off the branches. The branches were part of me though, so it hurts when I'm breaking the branches off. Of course I kept breaking the branches off and my legs hurt and were bleeding. My dream self didn't know what else to do.

I have no idea what any of this means other than I'm probably vain. But to be fair no one wants trees growing off their legs.

1984

Over the past decade or so many comparisons have been made about American society becoming more and more like the structure of Orwell's 1984. The way that the government can easily monitor the activities of its citizens, or how the working class has no idea how they work to maintain the system that keeps them down.

I put a mustache on and pretend I'm Big Brother in bed. 

The class structure in 1984 in my opinion resembles India's caste system and the Western world's Upper, Middle and Lower class pureed together in a blender sold at Walmart. The Proles are the Lower class but they don't foster any goals of becoming part of the Inner Party. Outer Party wakes up everyday and is thankful they aren't the Proles but they still have to put on their happy face and pretend life is good. Since they are being watched constantly. And no one cares what the Upper class or Inner Party does because they have it easy.

I was a Prole for awhile. I was lucky and joined the Outer Party. Most people starting where I did SES wise aren't so lucky. I know I will never be part of the Inner Party and I'm okay with that. I think working to improve the lives of Proles and Outer Party members is my place in life.

Anyway, Big Brother limits who a person can marry. Marriage is for procreation to continue and maintain the status quo. Citizens do not marry for love and they aren't expected to stay together or be happy. Does that sound anything like the GOP platform? Marriage is between a man and a woman.. blah blah blah... controlling marriage and other civil rights will lead to nowhere good. Unless you like the idea of working out every morning in front of your TV and having your enthusiasm judged by a chipper aerobicise instructor.

Not that I have anything against Richard Simmons. He's fabulous.

quickie

Just a quick post not a post about quick sex.

Let your kids be kids. Kids need to be silly and make messes. Children need to have interactions with other kids without an adult hovering over them. They need to play games that have the rules made up as they go without a parent being a judge.

Also if you are one of those asshats that keeps your kid on a literal leash, Stop that.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to finish getting ready for work without going into the lava.

Female MRAs

Most people will agree that men and women should be treated equally. Men and women should have equal access to school, housing, jobs and other public aspects of life.
Some people will say all persons should have equal access because the gender binary is a false dichotomy.

Then there are white men that insist they somehow got the short end of the stick in Western societies. Despite data from many sources, at many points and places in time indicate that white males have privilege and status that minorities don't even come close to achieving.

Being a white male makes life easier and there have been many great blogs explaining this fact so I don't feel a great need to go into that. Of course many undereducated white men think they have a harder life because educated women or minorities have a better job, car or house. While ignoring that most minorities do not have a better life than the large majority of white men.

These white men join Mens Rights Activists(MRA) and shout from the trailer top how rough their life is. Magically the MRAs have gained support from some women. These women have made claims that women should give up their right to vote and spend more time serving men. Along with promoting other MRA goals that basically encourage a strict gender binary and a return to racial segregation.

Success from keeping others down is not success. Getting a job because the potential employee pool is only other white men is not something to be proud of. Having a clean house but no food on the table because you have a housewife but no money for food is not worth bragging about.

Women should not be working to remove their own rights. People in general should not be removing rights from others. A more stratified society will not produce a better society. Yet that is somehow a belief with a strong following.

Fuck female MRAs. Your gender, race and socioeconomic status do not make you a better or worse person than others. Get off your ass, do something with your life, stop blaming others, lower your self-esteem to an 'unhealthy' level and maybe you'll realize there is a lot more to life.

Also, unless you are invited please do not think so much about my vagina.

treatment options

I've been reading House of Cards by Robin Dawes and I'm finding it helpful in my approach to working with emotional disturbed and mentally ill children. The book catalogs practices in psychology that were incredibly harmful to the patient and professionals trying to do the best for others without really considering how they might feel if the tables were turned. The major treatment that is widely spoken ill of now is the wonderful lobotomy. Doctors 60 years ago were convinced it was a great treatment for hopeless cases, being people that did not show signs of improvement after six months of other treatment at the hospital including ice baths, isolation, dangerous medications and shock treatment.
There are of course other treatments and practices that do not help patients or humans in general but I don't need to write about all of them because the practice itself isn't the issue I am taking. Sometimes I feel like mental health professionals sometimes forget the golden rule. Do unto others blah blah blah. 

If you had a rough week, month or year would you want people running around saying they know how to fix it and you then trust them because they are professionals but then they help you lock yourself in a hospital where you have close to no privacy and limited contact with your life? Some people need to be inpatient to improve while most people do not. Locking 'crazy' people up is still a common practice, especially for children.

Many times at work I see kids in rough situations with other staff and think about how I would feel as that kid. As a kid that doesn't get to watch TV without being 'on task' throughout the day, or choose nearly anything about their meals, or spend time alone in a way of their choosing. It would suck, a lot. No wonder they threw their plate when it was chicken on Tuesday again or had a tantrum when they were scolded for sitting on the floor reading in their room when they should be on their bed.

In general I think that anyone that works with kids should consider how they would like to be treated in that position. Instead of pulling out the "I'm an adult" card.

Fuck being an adult. Being an adult just means you have a few years under your belt not that you have some magical insight on life.

Diamonds are forever and expensive and non transferrable

There are just so many problems with diamonds. Perhaps I should list them? Should I list what I view as most important first and so on or from production to purchase to death? Or should I list them reverse alphabetically? So I was really going to write about diamonds but now I'm wondering why there are so many ways, relevant and not, to listing ideas or whatnot. Hmmm. How about whatever order they come to mind in.

A bunch of reasons that Diamonds suck:

• Diamonds cost roughly 2 months salary

• They also cost the lives of innocent miners trying to feed their family

• Diamonds are a pain in the rectum to shop for

• They serve literally no purpose

• Diamonds are like dicks for women, bigger is better but shape still matters

• One cannot easily sell a diamond or regift it

• They are easy to misplace and therefore cause minor heart attacks without need

• Diamonds get caught on random things or scratch people

• They create the impression that women are like small children; look shiny!

Of course marriage and often love requires the gifting of diamonds. The dark under belly of all of this is that women end up with a small box of jewelry that they cannot wear anymore because it was a gift from a past lover; they cannot sell it because parting with a necklace that symbolizes your life with someone for 3 years for $75 just doesn't seem right. 

After three years of hiding a promise ring at a friend's house and keeping it tucked away in a box inside a box in my bedroom I finally found a person that I could reasonably give the ring to. After I gave this ring away for good it seemed like a burden was lifted from my shoulders and I could finally put so many things in the past where they belong. Other pieces of jewelry have not come to such an end yet and I have no idea how or when that may even happen. 

All of the above still being true, I want more shiny jewelry. Now.

Free Advice

If you happen to be a young white male that enjoys yelling advice out your car window while driving down the road I have some tips for you.

1) Be concise. You are driving and yelling, your words need to deliver your message before the young lady you are harassing advising is out of earshot.

2) Be aware of your surroundings. I don't just mean be aware of the other cars and stop signs, you need to pick your target when she is not mashed between a bunch of tourists and businessmen trying to catch their train. In that kind of situation you are just yelling not performing a drive by grope.

3) Be very aware of your surroundings. If you shout about your dick to a young lady and then are sitting at a stop light she might feel inclined to key your car and continue on her way.

4) Think twice. Perhaps you would be better off keeping your ignorant face hole shut.


Personally when I'm walking down the street I have things on my mind that have very little to do with what a random dude in a civic thinks of me but maybe I'm the strange one. I'll admit it is entirely possible that some people enjoy being told to perform oral sex acts by strangers but I do believe that is more of the minority of the population. I mean minority in the sense that less than bulk of people living would prefer that kind of treatment not minority meaning black or female or educated.

Seriously how difficult is it to drive along without yelling at pedestrians? Oh nevermind, I get it now. People are like bubble wrap and your sexual shouts are just popping the plastic. I'll leave you be. Look Spongebob is on!

Judge not lest...

Judging people based on superficial things is bad. Everyone knows this. I try to follow this ideology in my everyday life from work(no duh) to walking around downtown. At restaurants I box up my leftovers and find(it's not really finding when they are everywhere) homeless people to give them to. But when it comes to shoes I feel like judge not lest ye be judged is fair and I'm ready for it. Judge me on my shoes while I judge your shoes. 

Lately I've been spending a lot of time hanging out with my boyfriend and his mother. We often run out of things to do so we go shopping, mostly for shoes. And by shopping I mean we kind of look for shoes we like while actually trying to find the absolute ugliest shoes in the store and show them to each other. Great bonding experience. 

Currently there's a trend going on with shoes to be incredibly ugly. Sometimes I find shoes that would only be okay in a post apocalyptic future where people don't have the resources to bathe yet have amazing hair. 

I could wear these while fighting zombie hordes and searching for clean water. 

Usually though I find shoes that pair a native american pattern with a 5 inch pump and add glitter just for fun. Don't get me wrong, glitter is wonderful when used for good but it tends to be a weapon of evil more often than not. 

Personal Space on the Bus

So I know that riding the bus often means having to be crowded into a small space with many people that often have no clue of what 'bathing' is but when the crowd clears out I expect to gain space in my personal bubble.

Yesterday while riding the bus I stood for quite some time sandwiched between a young Asian girl on her cell phone and a man sleeping(I hope) in a seat. After an entire bench seat opened up I waited the appropriate amount of time to be sure no oldies or preggos were around and then I ran over and sat next to the window. A middle aged man immediately sat next to me. Several stops later the bus is less than a quarter full but the man is still sitting next to me. I look around, several entire benches are free but I am trapped by the window. At this point I notice the man is no longer reading his papers and has also glanced around the bus. I think, oh he'll be moving soon.

No such luck. He sat next to me until his stop. After he got off the bus I put my feet up on the seat next to me.

I'm of the mindset that if it is possible to give others their personal space back than one should. There is no reason to sit RIGHT next to someone on a mostly empty public transit vehicle.

Clearly I should look less pleasant, no one is ever sitting next to the borderline homeless person yelling at himself.

Brillant tattoo ideas that would be Cosmo approved

In a recent issue of Cosmo they did a wonderful flowchart of whether or not you should get a tattoo. One of the cases they listed that you should in fact get a tattoo would be when you desire to permanently scar yourself with a meaningful song lyric. 

So I've come up with a list of great song lyrics that I think would make amazing tattoos!

On your wrist:

"I wanna hold your hand"
"You bleed just to know you're alive"
"And I feel fine"
"I got a feeling"

On your lower back(tramp stamps):

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly"
"I said what, what"
"Do you feel like a man?"
"I hope you had the time of your life"
"Rude boy, can you get it up?"
"What you gonna do with all that junk?"
"Dumps like a truck"
"Please tell mom this is not her fault"
"Heaven aint close in a place like this"
"I hope my boyfriend don't mind it"

On your ankle:

"walk this way"
"help I'm alive"

On the back of your neck:

"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had"
"I'll be watching you"

Anywhere:

"Bury me in memory"
"This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S"
"So what, I'm still a rock star"
"Never gonna give you up"

To be fair, I find everything better when tattoo'd above someone's ass.