24ct Golden Rule

This is going to sound judgmental but not in the condemning you sort of way. You are doing life wrong if your choices are constantly harming others. Yes, you should put your needs(emotional, physical or financial) first but you should also make sure you aren't seriously fucking over others while you do it.

You don't need to spread that rumor just so someone will listen to you for two minutes. You can hold the elevator door even if you are running late and don't want to stop at every floor on the way up. The person working in a shitty customer service position didn't say 'hello' or 'thank you' or they forgot the ketchup but you don't have to complain to the manager.

How about we all try a little harder to be nice to others? Have the waiter box your leftovers and give them to a homeless person. Open a door for anyone, especially people in wheelchairs or with a stroller or with a neckbeard. Pick up after your damn self at a restaurant, stack your plates neatly or clear your table if it's that kind of place.

Basically, don't be a fucking douche nozzle. Life doesn't have to suck, we make it that way.

Free Advice

If you happen to be a young white male that enjoys yelling advice out your car window while driving down the road I have some tips for you.

1) Be concise. You are driving and yelling, your words need to deliver your message before the young lady you are harassing advising is out of earshot.

2) Be aware of your surroundings. I don't just mean be aware of the other cars and stop signs, you need to pick your target when she is not mashed between a bunch of tourists and businessmen trying to catch their train. In that kind of situation you are just yelling not performing a drive by grope.

3) Be very aware of your surroundings. If you shout about your dick to a young lady and then are sitting at a stop light she might feel inclined to key your car and continue on her way.

4) Think twice. Perhaps you would be better off keeping your ignorant face hole shut.


Personally when I'm walking down the street I have things on my mind that have very little to do with what a random dude in a civic thinks of me but maybe I'm the strange one. I'll admit it is entirely possible that some people enjoy being told to perform oral sex acts by strangers but I do believe that is more of the minority of the population. I mean minority in the sense that less than bulk of people living would prefer that kind of treatment not minority meaning black or female or educated.

Seriously how difficult is it to drive along without yelling at pedestrians? Oh nevermind, I get it now. People are like bubble wrap and your sexual shouts are just popping the plastic. I'll leave you be. Look Spongebob is on!