Reclaiming childhood

Hipsters are pretty much just reclaiming the best/awkward/cheap/sincere parts of childhood. Seriously, whose parents didn't have flannel shirts? Or pajamas for that matter. Every kid at a sleepover had footie jamas.

Damn we are stylish. 

I get it, it's not easy being 20-something so let's just go back 20 years. I need a shirt with 7 patterns on it. And I need to cut bangs into my hair. Then I can pretend life is simple again. My sister had the sweet glasses, I bet she could sell those now for easily twice what our medicaid paid for them.

Basically all childhood photos are what hipsters wish they could be now. All I know now is that I was a great hipster before modern hipsters even existed. I'm not all that into jazz like the previous hipsters were.

Photobomb by my cousin when I didn't even know my picture was being taken. 

Much like hipsters my cousin and I spent the majority of our time just chillin outside, not worrying about the world. When the above photo was taken I'm pretty sure the LA riots were happening. We gave zero fucks. 

Finally there's this:

I'm probably pooping. 

Floating in the backyard. Waiting for some giant to carry me to my next location of just chilling. Clearly life was easier then. 

The problem with being a hipster now is that they are missing out on the fashion of today and won't be able to look at old photos and laugh at their pants the same way their friends that had jobs during this period will. Having a job outside of customer service is the most effective cure for hipsterdom. 

OMFG THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

WHY DO WE KEEP LIVING IN PLACES WHERE THE FLOOR SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING BECOMES LAVA?

Seriously, I can't jump from the bed to the night stand to the box we never unpacked by the door to the coat rack and climb over the laundry hamper every morning just so I can take a shower.

Also, shouldn't there be some kind of regulations about buildings with lava prone floors? I mean of course I have lava boots with me at all times but what about deep lava? 

Waiting for the floor of lava to cool and harden into igneous rock so I can have breakfast is not as awesome as it sounds. I sit on the edge of the bed poking the floor with my toe to see if it is safe while thinking about how hungry I am and why don't I just keep the bagels next to the bed and heat them on the lava? 

Well, the hot magma is cooled and I should head to work. Hopefully the train to work isn't filled with dragons. 

quickie

Just a quick post not a post about quick sex.

Let your kids be kids. Kids need to be silly and make messes. Children need to have interactions with other kids without an adult hovering over them. They need to play games that have the rules made up as they go without a parent being a judge.

Also if you are one of those asshats that keeps your kid on a literal leash, Stop that.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to finish getting ready for work without going into the lava.